Going Back Short Story Competition Winner

I’m scared. I’m going home today. I’m not sure I want to. Mummy went all funny last time I was there. And I don’t like it when she does that.
Grandad is packing cases into the car. I used to be a bit frightened of Grandad. He’s got great big eyebrows that seem to dance every time he speaks and lots of lines on his forehead that jump into the middle of his face when he’s cross. One of the giants in my book looks like him, but Grandad doesn’t eat naughty boys like the giant does. And actually, Grandad’s rather nice when you get to know him.
We didn’t used to see very much of him or Granny before Mummy went funny. That’s because they live miles and miles away, but I’ve been staying with them for a while now. It’s been really good. They live by the sea, which isn’t so good in winter though. I always thought it was sunny by the sea, but it’s not been very sunny here.
Though I have enjoyed walking along the beach with Grandad and Timmy, their Westie, as Grandad calls him. He looks like a fluffy bundle of white to me. A very nice bundle of white, not like any of the great big dogs my friends have. It was brilliant – just me, Grandad, Timmy and the waves. They were enormous waves crashing into the sand. And the wind. It’s always windy here. I got to know Grandad on those walks. He would talk for ages about Mummy when she was small, about Uncle Trevor and Uncle Steve. And sitting in deck chairs and eating ice cream in the summer while the gulls squawked around him. About everything really.
Granny comes over and gives me a big hug. I think I am going to cry. I’ve always loved Granny. She is small with big glasses and a big smile. I like her hair. It’s very curly and grey. Grandad said she used to dye it, but last time it went orange so she didn’t dye it again. I wish she would. I would like to see her with orange hair. She’s very good at cooking too. Mummy isn’t bad, but she doesn’t make pies like Granny does.
‘You are coming too, aren’t you?’ I ask her.
‘Of course I am. You, me, Grandad and Timmy are all going to see Mummy. And we’re going to stay for as long as you want us to,’ Granny says.
‘For ever?’
Granny laughs. ‘Not for ever, Sam. For a while though. And then we have to come back here, to our house. But you can come and stay with us in the holidays if you like.’
‘All of the holidays?’
‘We’ll see,’ Granny laughs again.
Mummy always says that too.
‘Mummy is better now, isn’t she?’
‘Yes, much better,’ Granny says.
I look up into her grey eyes. They don’t look so bright anymore. I know what she is thinking. She is worried about the thing that made Mummy go funny – Daddy.
I think of him. He was tall. Very tall. I think I’m going to be tall too. Just like Daddy. I hope so. He was handsome too. I’m not sure I want to be handsome. Girls want to kiss you if you’re handsome. Sally kissed me in the playground. It was horrible. The worst thing ever.
Daddy used to kiss Mummy a lot. Yuck. I’m never going to do that. He used to kiss me too. On the top of the head. But that was all right.
‘How do you feel about going home, Sam?’ Granny interrupts me.
I look down at my boots. Daddy chose these. For when we played football together on a Sunday morning. Daddy used to be goalie. He was useless. I always scored at least ten goals.
‘Sam?’ Granny says.
‘I’m OK about it. Do you think Mummy will go funny again?’
‘I don’t think so, Sam. We’ve talked to her on the phone lots and lots, haven’t we?’
‘Yes. She sounded OK. Not like last time I saw her.’
‘No, but we’re going to look after her and make sure she’s all right, aren’t we?’
‘Yes. I’m very good at looking after people. When Mummy had a very bad cold I took her breakfast in bed and I didn’t spill a drop. I even did a bit of washing up too.’
‘That’s great, Sam,’ Granny says.
She is fiddling with the hem of her apron. She always does that when she is worried about something.
‘I’m all right about Daddy,’ I say.
‘Oh?’
‘We’ve talked about it, haven’t we? I know Daddy’s gone. He’s up in heaven with God.’
‘Yes, he is, isn’t he?’
‘I think Daddy is very happy up there. He might even be a good goalie in heaven. Do you think God’s good at football?’
‘Yes, but not good enough to get a ball past your Daddy,’ Granny says and hugs me again.
‘Are you two ready then?’ Grandad says, slamming the lid of the boot down.
Granny looks flustered and tugs her apron off. ‘Give me five minutes,’ she says.
Grandad’s eyebrows start dancing. ‘Women,’ he mutters.
I giggle. Daddy always used to mutter that about Mummy too.
I go and sit in the car. Daddy had a big Land Rover. It was great. I could see everything when I sat in that. Grandad’s got a really little car, so I’m a bit squashed here in the back and I know that Timmy is going to leap all over me. At least we’ll stop off lots. Grandad always needs the loo and they have burgers at the services.
Granny is ready now. She straps herself in.
‘Got everything?’ she says and turns to me.
‘No! The picture – Mummy’s picture,’ I say and ping the seatbelt off.
Grandad unlocks the front door for me and I hurry into the lounge. It is on the coffee table. I pick it up and look at it. I hope Mummy will like it.
I take it out to the car and get back in. Timmy is jumping all over me already. Now he is licking me. He’s as bad as the girls.
Grandad revs the engine and we are on our way. I gulp. It will be strange without Daddy. Sometimes the house smelt of his work boots, especially on a Friday in summer. Mummy was always moaning at him to leave them in the garage. But he smelt nice when he put his aftershave on. He always put too much on, but Mummy liked it. I wonder what the house will smell like now.
‘All right, lad?’ Grandad says, catching my eye in the mirror just above his head.
I nod. Grandad looks back at the road. It isn’t taking as long to get home as I thought it would. I wish it was.
We are stopping at the services. Grandad hurries inside, while Granny waits with me.
‘Are you sure you’re not hungry?’ she asks.
I shake my head. I don’t feel hungry at all.
‘It’ll be all right, Sam,’ Granny says.
She leans over in her seat and takes my hand. I pull it away. I’m going to cry and I don’t want to cry.
Granny gets out of the car and squeezes in the back with me. She cuddles me. It feels nice, but I can’t stop crying.
‘Let it out. Let it out,’ she says and strokes my back.
We stay like that for a long time and then Grandad is back. He doesn’t say anything, just waits for Granny to get back into the front. Then he winks at me in the mirror. I wink back. He smiles and looks proud. I couldn’t wink before I came to stay with Grandad. I smile too and then he turns and gives me a packet of chewy fangs. They’re my favourite.
‘Thanks Grandad,’ I say and offer them round.
Granny and Grandad shake their heads. They don’t know what they’re missing.
I can’t believe we are almost home. I wonder if it will look different. We turn the corner. Our house is number 21 on the left. It looks just the same, but Daddy’s Land Rover has gone. Grandad said it was a bit poorly after the crash. Mummy’s car is in the drive.
I look up at the house and at the kitchen window. Daddy isn’t there. He always waited for me there.
Mummy opens the door and is walking towards us. I look at her face. She looks so sad. She sees me and she is smiling. She is running now. I am out the car and running too. She scoops me up in her arms and swings me round.
‘Cor, you’ve grown. What has that Granny been feeding you?’ she says and puts me to the ground.
I laugh and give her the picture. Her smile goes as she looks at it. I hope she isn’t going funny again. Now she is going to cry. I thought she would like it. It’s of me and Mummy in the garden. We are playing and smiling as we look up at Daddy high in the sky in heaven. He is smiling too.
‘It’s beautiful, Sam,’ she says and smiles again. ‘And so are you. It’s good to have you home.’
She hugs me and I hug her as tight as I can.

Shortlisted

Entries shortlisted to final judging stage in the Going Back short story competition were from: Charlie Adamson, Netherton, Huddersfield; Nicki Bradley, Odiham, Hampshire; Bill Douglas, Formby, Liverpool; Colin Ferguson, Fortrose, Ross-shire; Simon Jefferies, Upton, Chester; Douglas Kerr, Edinburgh; Jennifer McNally, Dundee; Betty Page, Market Rasen; Caroline Pennington, Downend, Horsley, Stroud; David Spanswick, Brighton; Brian Straton-Ferrier, Surbiton, Surrey.