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Competition Showcase – Lousia by Jennifer-Anne Taylor

 

About Jennifer-Anne Taylor
Jennifer Taylor, who lives in Hove, East Sussex, went to Sussex University as a mature student and graduated with a Hons degree in Linguistics in 2000. ‘I then worked in a second hand bookshop in Lewes for three years,’ she says. ‘I loved being surrounded by books and possibly a ghost or two. The shop was formerly a 15th century church.

‘At present, I work for Brighton and Hove City Council in ‘Admin All Areas’, my current assignment is working in the booking office in the Royal Pavilion. You couldn’t have better surroundings in which to work.

‘I have wanted to write for many years but never believed I could. Last September I bit the bullet and joined a Creative Writing course at Portslade Community College. The course has been great; I have had every encouragement from my tutor and great feedback from other members of the course. My writing has developed from hesitant beginnings to the stage where I felt confident to enter several competitions. I feel proud, honoured and totally overwhelmed to have won second prize in the Modern Ghost story competition.

‘My ambition at present is to write short stories for women’s magazines and in the long term write a series of linked short stories. There might even be a novel there somewhere!’

Lousia

by Jennifer-Anne Taylor


The block of flats looked sombre in the afternoon sun; it was a 1960s building, an era not renowned for architectural brilliance. The façade had been updated and the surrounding area planted with trees and bushes but it was still a gloomy looking building.
Jim was visiting his Uncle Stan who lived on the second floor of the block. Entrance to the flats was reached by a lift or an external staircase and walkways. The front doors of the flats opened out onto the walkways, which were enclosed by an elbow height wall with a two-foot high metal railing on top; the railing was not quite in keeping with the rest of the building and looked as if it had been added at a later date, presumably to make the walkway safer.
Jim usually visited his uncle on a Monday but Stan had asked him to come on Tuesday this week, in time for a cup of tea at 4 pm. He decided to walk up the two flights of stairs to the flat as the lifts were not very inviting and quite often didn’t work anyway. As Jim turned the corner into the walkway from the stairwell he heard a child running along laughing, he looked down the walkway and saw the child, who must be about two years old. Suddenly, as she reached the flat next door to Stan’s, the laughter turned to a scream and the child seemed to ascend into the air, disappear through the metal railing and fall over the walkway wall. Jim screamed himself, rushed to edge of the wall and peered over the railings, his eyes scanning the ground for the child but he couldn’t see her. She wasn’t down there. He had expected a crowd to be milling around the broken body of a small child, but there was no child lying on the ground, it was as if it hadn’t happened at all. In the area below the flats, life was carrying on as normal.
Jim felt a great wave of sadness sweep over him and very upset and puzzled he walked along to Stan’s flat. What had just happened? Did I really see that, he thought? It looked real enough to me, but now I come to think about it, the woman going into the end flat didn’t even look round when the child screamed. What on earth is going on?
Stan opened his front door at the first ring of the bell; it was as if he had been waiting right behind the door. He took one look at Jim and said: ‘You saw her then?’
Jim stood and stared at Stan. Dazed and confused he stammered: ‘What do you mean? It was real then? But I couldn’t see her on the ground, there was no one lying there, she couldn’t be anywhere but on the ground below.’ Jim stopped speaking and looked at Stan. ‘No-one was taking any notice, it was if they hadn’t heard her scream, as if it hadn’t happened at all,’ he said, very distressed now.
Stan pulled him into the flat and sat him down. ‘You sit quiet while I make you a nice strong cup of tea, don’t worry about the lass, she isn’t there now,’ he said.
Feeling much calmer after several cups of tea, Jim looked at Stan and said: ‘Now tell me what exactly is going on. That was why you asked me come today, wasn’t it? You expected me to see her fall didn’t you?’ He sat for a while thinking over what had happened. ‘It was the fact that she went through the railings and not over them that made me doubt that what I saw was real.’
‘Oh, I think it was real all right, but as to when it happened, I don’t know,’ Stan replied. ‘I started seeing her a few months ago, not every day but two or three times a week, always happy except for at 4 p.m. on a Tuesday, then she seems to be clambering up something and vanishes through the railings. I thought she was real until she disappeared, and like you, I was distraught the first time I saw it happen.’
‘Has anyone else seen her?’ Jim asked.
‘A few, but no one knows what the story is. She has been seen on and off for a number of years.’
‘Well, I shall make it my mission to find out about her, starting with Mrs Mather next door, she has been here virtually since the block was built hasn’t she?’
‘She has, but she is very ill now and not expected to last much longer,’ Stan replied sadly. ‘I will really miss her. We have been friends for a long time now. You could try numbers one and forty-one; they are virtually the only people left now who have lived here for a long time. The people at forty-one clammed up a bit when I tried to talk to them about her though, so they may be a good place to start.’
Jim left an hour or so later and told his Uncle he would phone him during the week to let him know anything he had found out, and that he would visit again next Tuesday at 4 in the afternoon. He was half hoping to see the little girl again the following week, not that he wanted to see her fall, that was much too distressing, but he needed to check that he really had seen her today. He decided to start his investigations at numbers one and forty-one straightaway.
The couple at number one said they had never seen the little girl running along the walkway, but they had heard stories of others seeing her over the years. They did remember that when they had first moved in, about thirty years ago, they were told that a little girl had fallen from one of the walkways about five years previously and that was why the railings were added to the wall.
Unfortunately, for Jim, the tenant at number forty-one, where he thought he might learn the true facts about what he had ‘seen’ that morning, had moved a few weeks ago so he got no further that day.
The following day Jim decided to check the local newspapers and see if there was a story about the little girl. After several hours in the library scanning the newspapers from thirty-five years ago, he finally found what he was looking for, the article was on the front page of a May newspaper. The article recorded the tragic accident to Louisa Calcott, aged two years and six months. Louisa was returning home from shopping with her mother, as she reached the walkway leading to their flat she left her mother’s side and laughing happily she ran towards their front door. As she got near to the door, she spotted some boxes stacked against the wall of the walkway outside Mrs Mather’s flat. Louisa ran over to the boxes and started to clamber up onto them, suddenly they slipped throwing her backwards and she fell over the wall plummeting to the ground below. Her parents were distraught and couldn’t bear to live at the flat any longer, her mother in particular could not walk past the spot where her daughter had fallen. They moved out a few weeks later. Mrs Mather, who had stacked the boxes there for her husband to take down to the bins when he came in from work, suffered a mental breakdown. The accident had happened on a Tuesday at 4 p.m.
Jim sat back, tears in his eyes; poor little girl he thought. But why is she haunting the walkway now? Why can’t she rest? He ordered a copy of the newspaper article from the librarian and then phoned Stan. He told him what he had found out, and that he would visit again on Tuesday.
The following Tuesday Jim arrived at the block of flats at five minutes to four. He walked slowly up the stairs and round the corner onto the walkway. He went up to Stan’s front door and feeling slightly queasy, he stood there waiting for four o’clock to pass. Suddenly he decided that he didn’t want to witness that awful scene again and turned towards Stan’s door to ring the bell. Then, he heard the little girl laughing and, as he looked round, he saw her running down the walkway towards him. Jim started forward, he wanted to stop her falling over the wall, but of course he couldn’t. He shouted for her to stop, then he jumped back as the door of Mrs Mather’s flat burst open. Mrs Mather raced out through the door and caught the child just as she started to climb the boxes. She set Louisa down, took hold of her hand, and side by side they walked back along the walkway towards the stairwell. Jim stood transfixed, staring at them until they disappeared down the stairs. He turned and rang Stan’s doorbell.
‘You’ve seen her again then,?’ was the first thing Stan said.
‘Yes, I have, but this time she didn’t fall over the wall. Mrs Mather ran out of her flat and stopped her climbing the boxes, then she took hold of her hand and together they walked back along the walkway and down the stairs.’
‘Don’t be daft lad,’ Stan replied. ‘Mrs Mather died two days ago.’


Judging comment
It is Mrs Mather who makes Jennifer Taylor’s story, even though she is a character we do not get to meet.
The story starts, as it should, as the moment of crisis is about to occur. Jim is heading for his uncle’s flat when he sees the little girl fall to her death. It is a dramatic scene, and of course we are intrigued and want to know what happened. As the story unfolds it becomes apparent that the little girl is a ghost.
And, as we might expect, Jim sees the little girl again. But this times Mrs Mather intervenes and alters the course of events. Or does she? It seems that Mrs Mather has died, so is it her ghost who intervenes and who takes Louisa off to wherever it is that ghosts go when their problems are resolved?
Well done Mrs Mather. You made the ending just as it should be.