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Competition Showcase – E-mails from Escomb by Roma Oxford

 

About Roma Oxford
Writing for me, is a very recent discovery, says Roma Oxford: ‘I had not contemplated experimenting with fiction until, in 2005, I attended a part-time course on Writing For Children, led by the inspirational Judith Duncan. Nearly everyone on the course has continued meeting weekly, setting ourselves exercises and using Writing Magazine to enliven our output. I have never submitted a story before, so winning third prize has really boosted my confidence. There are plenty more stories buzzing around in my head, most of them concerning the animal world.
‘I have been a Primary teacher, a mother and a wildlife rehabilitator specialising in bats and hedgehogs. All those experiences have conjoined to feed a desire for writing stories about bats in particular. They are a much-maligned group of animals, but lend so much to fictional writing. I am currently working on an illustrated bat story.’

E-mails from Escomb

by Roma Oxford



My dad pushed his specs further up his nose and read the letter out loud. Everyone round the breakfast table listened. It was from the estate manager and it was rubbish news. We’ll be moving . . . . miles and miles away from here to some beastly hovel out in the middle of nowhere. AND I DON’T WANT TO GO.
As Dad folded the letter away, Mum threw the unopened packet of Shreddoes in the air and caught it, shouting, ‘Yes-s,’ while Ben whirled his tie round his head with an earth-shattering ‘Yippee’. Everyone was jubilant – except me.
‘Oh – Dan,’ gasped Mum. ‘That’s wonderful.’
‘It is too,’ he said and gave Mum a long kiss on her mouth. Yuk! I stalked off to my bedroom to think. Life was never going to be the same again.
By the way, I’m Emily Pearson, but my mates call me Empy, and I’m ten. My dad’s Dan, the Parks Department Man, Mum works for Marks and Sparks and Ben’s seven and too lippy by half. We’ve always, always lived in fabulous Fabian Street. My school’s just round the corner. It’s a huge Victorian one, has high windows and an enormous playground. I love it. BUT I’LL NEVER SEE MY FRIENDS AGAIN.
This place we’re going – it’s some dump called Escomb on Lord Lutton’s estate. Dad says he was head-hunted, whatever that means, and he’s very fortunate to be working for old Lutton-face. Huh – lucky for us, we get a stone cottage for as long as we want, but I bet it’s riddled with rats and damp as a ditch. There’ll be no-one around for a million miles.
After tea, on the day of The Letter, Dad gave me a hug.
‘It’ll be all right, you know. It’s a fantastic place – all green and gorgeous.’
‘I hate green,’ I said, ‘and I don’t do gorgeous.’
‘The people next door . . .’
I pricked my ears up. You didn’t have ‘next doors’ in the wilderness – did you?
‘Yes?’ I said, sniffing.
‘They’re looking after their grandaughter. She’s about your age.’
‘So who are they – these neighbours?’
‘Isaac and Jean Poad, and young Isobel,’ explained Dad. ‘We’ll go up there at the week-end to show everyone the place. You’ll love it.’
Saturday morning was wet. Typical – but as the van chugged up the hill and rounded the bend at the top, the sun peeked out and the valley below lit up.
‘Oh my,’ sighed Mum. Ben cranked the window down and leaned right out. Mum yelled at him. I tried looking uninterested, but couldn’t help gawping. Where’s the cottage? Perhaps Isobel would be in the garden? A mile further on, we pulled into a gravel drive. Side by side, sat two identical cottages, glowing in the golden sunlight. They looked like they were out of a history book and I almost forgot to frown when I saw them. Dad took the key, lifted the latch and we crept inside. Dad’s head almost touched the ceilings and the walls were all bumpy.
‘This is going to be such fun,’ grinned Mum, winking at me.
There was a knock at the door. Mrs Poad and Isobel stood there and invited us to tea.
‘In say, half-an-hour?’ said Mrs Poad. I stared at Isobel, thinking ‘bet the kids at her school hate that colour hair,’ but she did one of those funny little waist-high waves and gave me a wide-eyed smile. I felt my chin wobble. She seemed sort of friendly.
‘What a lovely old couple,’ said Mum on the way home. ‘And did you like Izzy?’ she asked.
‘She’s okay,’ I said, ‘if you can understand her funny accent.’ Actually, I liked her quite a lot and guess what? She’s got her own lap top! We’ve exchanged e-mail addresses and I might e-mail sometime before The Move. But the very next day, I sneaked into Dad’s office and wrote:-
Hi Izzy. It’s Emily. Saturday was good. How’s Nell? Is she your Nan’s? Wish I had a dog. Wish I had my own lap top too!
Hours later, there was a message from Izzy.
‘Lo Emily. Nellie‘s mine while Mum and Dad are away. We were crofters, near Clachtoll, but it was awful. There wasn’t enough money, so they’ve gone to France to earn some. They got me a lap top so we can chat. I love Nan and Gramps to bits, but really miss Mum and Dad. D’you have a pet or a lap top?
Hi Izzy. No dog, no cat. No garden. Town’s too busy, but I love dogs. I use my Dad’s work computer, but we can’t bring it to Escomb. How can I mail my million friends?
‘Lo Emily. No problem. Share my dog, borrow my lap top. Guess what? – our bedrooms are going to be next to each other. We can tap messages on the wall. When are you coming again? Lots to ask you.
Izzy and I e-mailed every single day. I let her call me Empy, like all my mates do, because she told me loads about herself. Clachtoll was miles and miles from anywhere, so they went shopping only once every four weeks. It rained nearly every day. Her mum and dad were her teachers, so going to Escomb School was dead scary. There were so many children. Just imagine it, twenty-four kids and that’s a big school. Twenty-four’s less than in my class. She says Mr Silver, the teacher’s great. To Izzy, Escomb is almost heaven.
Mum and Dad were like kids going to a first party. They kept whispering and hugging each other. Ben was up in the air, knocking off the days to the move on his lego tower. I kept busy collecting everyone’s phone numbers or e-mails and I had a good sort out of my stuff. I was going to throw lots away, but there were some special things that I thought Izzy might like, so I put them in an ‘Izzy Box’. Also, my new bedroom was going to be bigger, so there’d be loads of room. Mum and Dad decided they’d sell 28 Fabian Street and use the money to buy Mum a car, a new van for Dad, a lap top for me and a proper Scalectrix layout for Ben.
The day before we moved, Izzy sent me this:-
Hi Empy – I know you’re sad to leave town, but there’s a very special sound waiting for you here. Everybody laughs about it, but I think it’s real clever and I can’t wait for you to hear it too. Can’t wait till tomorrow. Love, Izzy.
I couldn’t guess what she meant. Special sound? – and in all the hustle and bustle of packing and loading, saying goodbyes and moving in, I clean forgot. The next week was half-term. Izzy showed me round the place while Mum and Dad got settled. Ben was a complete pain, trailing us everywhere and trying to talk Scottish. I felt like hitting him.
‘Och, leave him be,’ said Izzy.
On the first school morning, Mum said I’d to show Ben how to be brave. We’d never caught a school bus before. With knees knocking, we waited at the end of the drive. Izzy joined us and I thought she looked a bit smirky. She got on the bus first, then Ben and then me. Suddenly from the back seats, came this huge cheer and two lads stood up and stretched a banner out. It said, ‘Empy & Ben, welcome to Escomb.’ Ben laughed and I felt that old chin wobble again. Izzy dug me in the ribs and grinned and I smiled back. In only one week, Izzy and I had got along just like that. I felt I’d known her for ages and I guessed she’d organised the banner. It was just the sort of thing she’d do.
By the time we reached school, we knew eleven names and in the playground, everyone spoke to us. Somebody put a chocolate bar into Ben’s hand. Izzy and I linked arms as we went inside.
Mr Silver was delighted to see two extras, and Izzy’s right. He’s s-o-o cool. He’s younger than old Snoddy at my other school and never seems to shout. Izzy says he sometimes wears crazy things. Today it’s a tie with smiling worms all over it, secured with an enormous safety pin. He teaches everyone, everything. Mrs Silver comes in some mornings too.
Mr Silver set us to work, the sun streamed in through the windows and all was quiet. Just sheep bleating and birds tweeting. We were all busy, heads down, when Izzy nudged me.
‘That sound – did you hear it?’ she whispered as Mr Silver left the room.
‘What? The telephone?’ I said.
‘No – the starling. It imitates the school phone, but Mr Silver hasn’t twigged yet.’
Mr Silver came back scratching his head, looking puzzled. Me and Izzy giggled. I reckoned Escomb could be heaven for me too.


Judging comment
If you are writing for a young audience, you need to get the action moving straight away. And that is what Roma Oxford does in her story about Emily Pearson. The brief was to write a story about a youngster faced with the challenge of having to move home, and Roma gets instantly into the problem, telling the story in the convincing style of Emily’s voice.
Usually, the competition judges would disapprove of the use of capital letters to convey emphasis. If you have an important point to make it, they would argue, you should do so through your writing skills rather then by typography. But a youngster like Emily Pearson does not think in those terms, and her peer group really will empathise with the capital letters.
From there onwards, Roma uses dialogue extensively to move the story forwards. And a sensible technique that is – dialogue is far more active than narrative, and youngsters do not have the time to take on board long passages of narrative.
And of course, the modern manifestation of dialogue is electronic dialogue – the e-mail that Emily and her new-found friend love to use. So for the latter part of the story to be relayed by e-mail makes the whole story more relevant, and more readable, for its modern audience.