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Competition Showcase –
Greater Love by Dawn Bush |
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something
happened. Isn't that the worst kind of slavery?’
She shook her head, and her face was radiant again.
‘Slavery? No... No, it's not slavery. It's freedom.’ She
picked up his arm, brushing the marks. ‘This is slavery.’
The night the youth came for him, he didn't realise she was there.
He saw the knife flash, felt someone push him; but as he lay where
he'd fallen, he knew she'd taken the blow. Her scream alerted no one
but her companion in the car, who called the police; but Max saw the
knife slide out of her, leaving blood in its wake.
As she lay dying in his arms, her face shone with the radiance of
love; but at last he knew for certain that the love was for him.
‘Change starts from inside, Max,’ she whispered, ‘time
to die.’ |
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Judging Comment: Love stories are supposed to be romantic.
Or are they? There is not much romance in Dawn Bush’s story,
you might argue, only a violent death in a back street somewhere.
But Dawn’s story is romantic, very romantic. The narrator has
fallen in love, so much so that he is ready to change his life style
for the sake of his girl. And we get a strong picture of the girl.
We see her through Max’s eyes as he gradually falls in love
with, and it makes a marvellous piece of characterisation. And there
is a great deal of truth on the theory that good short stories are
about character.
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