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Competition Showcase –
Turquoise Sea by Stella Baker |
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About Stella Baker
When Stella was sixteen years old, she wrote a story as part
of an exam. The English teacher liked it and printed it in the
school magazine. Stella was then asked to read it on the local
radio station: Radio Teesside.
‘I was really buzzing
from this early success,’ says Stella.’I thought
then how good it would be to become a writer one day. That ambition
has never really left me but, when I was young, life took me
down a different path and I trained to become a teacher. Since
then I have been a teacher, a mum and a counsellor.
‘When I reached the age of fifty, however, I decided to
reengage with those early ambitions. I left work with the aim
of becoming a writer. I subscribed to Writing Magazine
and Writers' News for advice and inspiration. The monthly
competitions provided the perfect vehicle to get going with
a subject matter defined and, more importantly, a deadline!
‘Turquoise Sea
was the third story I submitted. The inspiration came from a
TV documentary about a family man who naively trusted those
who were unscrupulously sending him excessive loan offers. He
sadly became thoroughly entangled in a downward spiral of debt
from which he thought he could never recover and he felt great
shame. He hid the facts from his family and tragically ended
his life.
‘It was shocking to watch and it had a big
effect on me.’ |
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| Turquoise
Sea
by Stella Baker
I hate waiting for trains don’t you? ‘Specially when
it’s freezing like it is tonight and dark with this bloomin’
drizzle floating about in the air. I’m nervous about the train
coming but it’s my only way out. I need to get away from what
Paul did to me. Paul Gladman that is. I was wrong about him you
know—well wrong. Funny how you can think something and then
it all turns out to be a lie.
It’s so cold. Mind you, I’m well wrapped up with my
new coat on. Black it is and lovely. It comes down nearly to my
feet and it’s made out of wool. Wool! I’ve never had
a proper wool coat you know — before this one that is —
and I think it looks posh — and it’s warm too, really
lovely and warm. It buttons up good too. Right to my chin. And Mum’s
red scarf sets it off just right. Mum doesn’t know I’ve
got it though. If I’d have asked her she wouldn’t have
let me ‘cause she’s going through a mean phase.
I know she’s being good though, looking after Mark an’
all. I hope he’s being a good lad for her. They’re a
handful aren’t they—kids, but I’m really going
to miss him. But d’you know what, he’ll be better off
with Mum for now. He doesn’t want stupid me for a Mum and
when this bloomin’ train comes I’m outa here.
I’ll tell you about Paul if you like. I’ve nothin’
to lose by telling you. It was his letter that started it all. When
I opened it I got to feeling happy and I thought it was the answer
to my prayers. He promised me the world, that Paul did. It was the
picture on the letter really and those words ‘Change your
life. Consolidate your debts’. Do you want to know what the
picture was? Well I’ll tell you then. It was of a yacht, proper
fancy, with a girl on it—just lying on it—and all around
was green sea. Have you seen green sea? I haven’t. Well, it
was a kind of turquoise colour really. I don’t even know if
it’s real. Coulda been made up or a trick for the picture.
All I’ve seen is the kind of sea that’s grey and cold
looking too. This sea—the one in the picture—looked
like it might be warm. Anyway, the weird thing was that the girl—
the girl on the yacht that is—she looked just like me—it
could have been me, I wish! She had hair down to her shoulders like
me and it was kind of blond just like mine and she was about the
same age—that’s twenty nine if you want to know. The
girl looked twenty nine and she looked happy. Not like me though,
Emma Cradley, up to my ears in debt, scraping to get by every day
and wanting the world for Mark and for everything to be different.
Where the hell is this train? My heart’s pounding thinkin’
of it coming soon. Where the hell is it?
And you know what, when you’ve got no money, people treat
you not very nice. I bet if I was that girl on the yacht, people
would talk to me different. They would be nice to me. Not like that
horrible Tara at the rent office, all high and mighty with her opinions
and treating me like a piece of muck. And I’m not a piece
of muck. I’m just as good as her—just haven’t
got much money. I suppose it was good of Mum to help me a bit but
then she kept letting me know what a sacrifice it was and telling
me I was pushing thirty and still without a proper job. Like as
if I hadn’t tried! The thing was that when me and Tom were
an item I thought it would be forever and then Mark was a surprise.
A lovely surprise though.
I wonder where Tom is now. It would serve him right if he knew where
I was, standing here in the rain and the wind, freezing and waiting
and waiting. It would serve him bloomin’ well right.
So anyway, like I was saying, when Paul’s letter came I was
well chuffed. All I had to do was fill in the little form and then
I could have the money. Just like that. So—I did. That letter
you know—it made me feel important. There was someone—someone
out there trying to help me, someone who trusted me enough to give
me some money.
And when I worked it out I knew I could get Tara off my back, pay
three credit cards off, give Mum some money back and—this
was the best bit—have some over so I could splash out for
a change. Get some treats. It seemed too good to be true. Paul even
came to my house to help me fill in the ‘big’ form.
He was good looking, Paul, and he made me feel special. I was a
bit embarrassed about the state of the flat with all the washing
hung about drying and everything but the nice thing was that he
didn’t seem to mind. He treated me like Emma the yacht girl.
He showed me respect and he cared about me.
The form was a bit long and complicated but Paul sorted it all out.
He kept making me laugh and he was kind. I could feel all my problems
start to disappear and I felt happy.
Paul told me not to worry about the form because some of the questions
were a bit difficult to understand and he said that it was his job
to help me and everything would be all right. The most important
thing, he kept saying, was that I would have the money in my hand
by next week. When he had gone I did a little dance around the room.
Mark was laughing and everything felt good.
And the money did come—and the best bit was going in to see
Tara and pushing the money I owed her right under her nose. She
went a bit red when she took it. It was a nice feeling for me though.
I didn’t owe her any more. Ha!
Mum wanted to know where the money had come from. I thought she
would be pleased but she wasn’t. I ended up showing her Emma
the yacht girl but when she saw it she went kind of berserk and
kept saying ‘what have you done Emma? what have you done?’
And I was mad because I had felt so happy. Why couldn’t she
let me make a decision on my own for once. I told her about Paul
but she just shook her head when I told her how he had tried to
help me and how nice he’d been and all.
My legs are shaking now ‘cause I’ve just heard the train
whistle. Nearly here.
So I said some bad things to Mum and went to town. I bought a stack
of things for Mark and I bought some expensive make up for me too.
I bet Emma the yacht girl uses the same type. It felt really great
paying for it with my own money in the store and the girl treating
me with respect and even asking if she could show me some other
products in the range. And then, when I was going up the escalator,
I saw the wool coat and I know it cost a bomb but who cares. I deserved
a treat and I loved it so I bought it and you should have seen the
way they wrapped it up real carefully in tissue paper and put it
in a big posh bag with blue string handles. They treated me as if
I was an important customer. Emma Cradley—the very important
customer.
But then, I got a letter from Paul asking for ‘the first instalment’.
And it was for a lot of money so I knew it must be a mistake. So
I called Paul straight away to sort it out but the phone just rang
and rang. I thought Paul would easily explain the mistake as soon
as I asked him. But he wasn’t answering the next day or the
next day after that. I reckoned that he must have gone on holiday
or something—but even after three weeks he still didn’t
answer and then I got letter from him again. This time it had red
writing on it and there were scary words like ‘court summons’
and ‘bailiffs’. And so I paid the money when I felt
so scared and then I kept paying it every month until I had none
left for Tara.
I’m blinking tears away now and they’re mixing up with
the rain but I don’t feel cold any more and the train is in
the distance. I can see its lights.
And I lost my flat in the end because Tara said I was a bad risk
and she didn’t even say she was sorry when she told me. And
even Emma the yacht girl seemed to be laughing at me and Mum kept
on at me and said I’d been really stupid. The worst thing
was that me and Mark had to move in with her so she tells me I am
stupid every single day. Stupid, stupid Emma Cradley.
So, come on train. When you get here I can escape. I’ve got
the picture of Emma the yacht girl in my pocket to remind me what
it might have been like to paddle in the turquoise sea.
The train sound is getting so loud. All I have to do is climb over
the fence. I thought it would be best to lay down on the tracks
then the driver won’t see me ‘til it’s too late.
I feel really scared now and I’m crying and I’m sorry
Mark and my new coat will be a mess and…
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Judging comment
It is interesting where short story ideas come from. Stella’s
story, as she says, was inspired by a TV documentary about the
debt problem. To develop a story from that inspiration, Stella
had to create a naïve and impressionable character –
and se did so with her Emma Cradley. Emma who wanted people to
respect her, to look up to her, to like her. She craved the respect
of shop assistants and of pretty well anyone with whom she came
into contact.
Having created Emma Cradley, Stella had the perfect character
to fall victim of the loan shark. Of course, to tell us this story,
Stella has a lot of back story to fill in. We have to understand
how and why Emma created this debt problem. And so we have Emma
talking to us, taking us into her confidence at what is clearly
a crisis moment in her life. And we are engaged by her story as
she relates it to us.
What we do not realise until the ending is just how much of a
crisis moment this is for Emma. We suspect that she is waiting
for a train because she is running away from her problems. But
in fact she is running away from her life, and plans to throw
herself under the train. It makes a powerful ending.
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